Recently, our family went around to Island Bay, Wellington to view the Aurora Australis. Like a number of others who had driven out there, I thought I would see this amazing vivid light and flares display with the naked eye. I was somewhat disappointed when all I could see was stars and black sky. That disappointment remained until my son, who is into photography, set his camera up and seeing what the camera had captured blew me away.

It made me reflect that it was not dissimilar to what occurs in a mediation. Sometimes parties need assistance to see something which is not clear to a person without some other tools or third-party impartial interventions.

Even while looking through the camera lens, it was not obvious there was anything out there beyond stars and black sky. It was only after the camera lens had been set up with right settings to focus and process did the flares become clear. The lens also needed sufficient exposure time to allow the image to her captured.

Similarly, in any situation where there is a person in conflict it is critical to allow them time and space to process the information, to get the best picture of the situation possible and assist them to gain insights from exploring more deeply their assumptions and perspectives. When done well the person will gain new insights. If they are rushed or not given the opportunity to process the information then the picture they will have will not be as rich or complete,

Ask an open question, then imagine yourself sitting on your hands and putting tape over your mouth, until they have responded, is one of the most powerful tools we have. It allows the person time and space to really think and reflect.

If you are interested in assistance with a conflict situation in the workplace, give me a call, txt or email to discuss in a no obligation, confidential conversation.